Sex and sexuality

Sex and sexuality means much more than the physical act of sexual intercourse.

Sex and sexuality also encompasses how people feel about themselves and their bodies, their sexual interests and attraction to others (whether that is the opposite sex or the same sex). Our sexuality is influenced by biological, emotional, cultural, spiritual and moral aspects of our life. It may change throughout our life, and be influenced by factors such as disability, illness and ageing.

People with disabilities have the same diversity of sexual expression and needs as everyone else in the community. It is essential that people with a disability be supported to make choices and decisions that offer the least restrictive alternative to their health and lifestyle.

Realising that you may be gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or intersex (LGBTI) can be a frightening and lonely time for some people, or their loved ones; or, for some, just a time which poses new questions. Talking to people or organisations to gain knowledge and understanding is an important step.

For some people, having an illness will not impact on their sex lives while for others it can change things significantly. It is important to talk with your partner and doctors about your concerns.

Although the media and community tend to overlook older people's sexuality, we are all sexual beings, young and old. Many older people are sexually active or would like to be. The physical, emotional and social changes of ageing may make this difficult. Often, however, the biggest obstacle is other people's attitudes.

Sexual Health Check A sexual health check is a check-up by a doctor, nurse or other health worker. People do not need to be experiencing symptoms to have a check-up as there are a number of STIs which often cause no symptoms but can have significant effects on your health.

Sexual health check

A sexual health check is a check-up by a doctor, nurse or other health worker. People do not need to be experiencing symptoms to have a check-up as there are a number of STIs which often cause no symptoms but can have significant effects on your health (e.g. chlamydia).

A sexual health check is advisable if you:

  • think you have an STI
  • have had unprotected sex with casual partners
  • are starting a new sexual relationship
  • have different partners
  • have been sexually assaulted
  • want to discuss safe sex or contraception

Having safer sex Safer sex means caring for your own health and your partner’s health. Safer sex also means doing things that reduce the risk of sexually transmissible infections (STI) or pregnancy.

Safer sex means caring for your own health and your partner’s health. Safer sex also means doing things that reduce the risk of sexually transmissible infections (STI) or pregnancy. It also includes looking after your emotional health and making sure you feel comfortable with whom you have sex, and never feeling pressure to have sex.

How can you can stay safe?

  • Make sure that you are comfortable with the time, place and person for you.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about sex.
  • Using condoms is the only method of contraception that protects against both STIs and pregnancy.
  • Before having sex, talk with your partner and come to an agreement about using condoms. Remember, you have the right to say NO if your partner does not agree to use condoms.
  • If you are having unprotected sex, talk to your partner about the risks involved. Some STIs can be cured but some can’t (e.g. herpes), and you may not have any symptoms so won’t know if you have an STI.
  • Never have sex (even with a condom) if your partner has a visible sore, ulcer or lump on their genitals, anal area or mouth. Suggest they see a doctor.
  • STIs can be passed from one person to another by oral sex so you do need to use a condom if your mouth is in contact with your partner's penis. If your mouth is in contact with your partner’s anus or vulva, you need to use a dental dam (a thin latex square held over the vaginal or anal area during oral sex).
  • STIs can also be transmitted if you use sex toys. Use condoms and change the condom for each person using the toys. Wash the toys carefully after use and wash your hands after removing the condom.
  • Never re-use condoms or dental dams and always check the expiry date.

For more information go to ReachOut.com.

Loss of Libido People's sexual desires can ebb and flow over time, fluctuating for many different physical and mental reasons. The fluctuations sometimes coincide with major life changes such as pregnancy, menopause or illness.

People's sexual desires can ebb and flow over time, fluctuating for many different physical and mental reasons. The fluctuations sometimes coincide with major life changes such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Sometimes libido can come and go with the loss of a partner or the ending or beginning of a relationship. Some medications can be responsible for changes in libido, causing low sex drive in both men and women.

There are billions of pages on the web but few that can be trusted with your reproductive and sexual health. To address this, True and Kristy Vallely, a.k.a. ‘the Imperfect Mum,’ are collaborating to produce a series of videos to provide accurate, honest information on the subjects that women in Australia really want to talk about. The videos are being published through our website and on Facebook.  We will be adding a Q&A below if we receive additional questions from our clients and the Imperfect Mum community.

 

Having Sex There are many different opinions about when is the right time to have sex. In many countries, it is against the law to have sex before the age of 16 years old. Only you can make the decision about what is the right time for you.

There are many different opinions about when is the right time to have sex. In many countries, it is against the law to have sex before the age of 16 years old. Only you can make the decision about what is the right time for you. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex. Whatever you do, whether it’s kissing, touching, oral sex or sexual intercourse, it should always be something that you both want to do.

There are some things you need to think about before you have sex:

  • Am I ready for sex?
  • Am I doing this for the right reasons?
  • What about protecting myself and my partner from sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy?
  • Am I going to feel OK about myself and my partner afterwards?

If you don’t feel safe or comfortable about having sex, then it’s probably not the right time for you. No one has the right to pressure you into having sex and even if you have had sex before, it doesn’t mean you have to have it again. The law says that sex must always be consensual. This means:

  • Consent must be freely given.
  • If you don’t want to have sex and someone pressures or threatens you, they are breaking the law.
  • It is against the law for someone to have sex with you when you are not able to give your consent (e.g. because you are asleep, unconscious or affected by alcohol).

If you decide you are ready to have sex, make sure you and your partner are prepared. The best way to do this is to talk with your partner about your needs and how you plan to protect yourselves against sexually transmissible infections and unwanted pregnancy.

For more information go to ReachOut.com.

Puberty Puberty is the process that changes a child’s body into an adult body that is capable of sexual reproduction. Puberty is triggered by the release of hormones from a small gland in at the base of the brain.

Puberty is the process that changes a child’s body into an adult body that is capable of sexual reproduction. Puberty is triggered by the release of hormones from a small gland in at the base of the brain. For girls puberty starts at around 10 years of age with a range of eight to 13 years being normal. For boys it is usually between 11 and 12 years, however the normal range can be from 9 to 14 years.

Changes for girls:

  • breast development
  • hips widen and body becomes curvier
  • grow taller
  • hair growth – hair will start to grow in pubic area, under arms and hair on the arms and legs will darken
  • vaginal discharge – may start having a clear or whitish discharge for the vagina
  • periods will start
  • pimples may appear

Changes for boys:

  • shoulders and chest becomes broader
  • grow taller
  • body becomes more muscular
  • voice gets deeper
  • penis and testicles become larger and darker in colour
  • hair growth - hair will start to grow in pubic area, under arms, chest and back and hair on the arms and legs will darken
  • during wet dreams or when masturbating, ejaculation may occur
  • pimples may appear.